Your Past Does Not Define You
In some yoga classes or retreats we have soul sharing moments. Today I am led to have one of those moments with whom ever takes the time to read this. I'm not sure who this will help, someone needs to know that their past does not define them, and you can over come what ever trials you have gone through. It starts with sharing, letting go and forgiveness. Here it goes, At the young age of 5 I was molested by my mother's boyfriend. I think It went on for a year, some things are fuzzy cause the mind tries to protect itself. I told guys I dated but only came clean to my mom at 25. I took steps, therapy, and of course forgave all the parties involved years ago. Some family members, friends, and associates are finding this out by and by. Now what happens is the Universe sends people my way who have all been molested by someone in their youth. There begins the soul share. I in-turn have to help them over come that burden they picked up and should not have had to do. Then I went to a stage where I did not feel wanted by my mother, and the anger of her letting me stay with my attacker as she left for work every day. I am also meeting many of those people often. I again tell them about forgiveness and let them know things change and you can have a great relationship after all the clutter is gone. See my mom now is my biggest fan, biggest supporter, and will kick your butt for me. You have to understand that the decisions people make have to deal with their upbringing and thought patterns. Some people feel they are doing the best they can do under what ever circumstances they are dealt, and with the knowledge they know how to deal with. There are steps to healing and you can be healed.
I was almost date rapped by a boyfriend at a young age. He told me we were going to help someone move and took me to an empty apartment where he began to try to rape me, I almost broke his business off, and I really tried to. He did not follow through and took me back home. Forgiveness. I was in a verbal abusive relationship, a physical abuse relationship for four years. The whole time trying to figure out how in the hell will I get out of this. I was terrified of this man, it's sad to say, one day the only way I could see out was to kill myself. It's funny, because I do not like taking pills, but that did not stop me. I took a boat load of pills and waited to die. A knock came at my door. It was my Aunt. She just showed up out the blue. I'm talking to myself, "Why is she here I'm trying to die over here?" She had food and wanted her hair done. I was moving slow and slipping in and out. She got me moving, eating, drinking, and I did her hair. I realized after she left, God sent her to me. I said oh well I guess I have to find another way out. I took back the control and left. I told myself I'm not going to take anymore, he's going to have to kill me. I packed a bag, waited for my ride, I left everything I owned. I started over. You can do it, you have to stand up for yourself. I forgave him also.
I had an opportunity to experience depression for about six months. I say opportunity, because I heard people talk about it, could never relate. That thing is not joke. I am so very thankful it was only six months. To not want to get out of bed, go anywhere, be around people, just sad, just to be sad, not a wonderful feeling at all. I had experienced it so I could help people. So when I hear someone complain about a family member sleeping and despondent, I can say, "Yeah they're depressed, this is what you need to do."
Most of my clients hear these stories when they share, at the moment they think they are the only ones going through it. They hear my story and go wow she got out, she got through, she did it. And for those that know me, I'm silly, so yeah I share and be all animated, they feel the share, we may cry together, then we laugh and they can face another day. There is hope, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I use to wonder why I was hit with so many afflictions, so many pains, so many trials and tribulations, and when that person comes and lay that heavy load, and I let them see/hear that it's ok, you will survive, your past does not make you, or define you. It helps you be a witness and a testimony of how good God really is. How can you share, feel, or help someone if you do not know? It's second nature now, I quickly share. I just say "Ok God, what do I tell them?" So I hope that this helps one person, You can do it, what ever happened in your past, even if your past was yesterday, Pray about it, tell a friend, tell a family member, tell a therapist. I smile cause I am not my past, my past has created me, I am blessed to be a blessing and so can you.
Heavenly Father, Please heal whom ever took the time to read this, You know their affliction, pain, suffering, trials, and worries, take their burdens, and allow them to forgive others as well as themselves. Thank you, Amen
I was almost date rapped by a boyfriend at a young age. He told me we were going to help someone move and took me to an empty apartment where he began to try to rape me, I almost broke his business off, and I really tried to. He did not follow through and took me back home. Forgiveness. I was in a verbal abusive relationship, a physical abuse relationship for four years. The whole time trying to figure out how in the hell will I get out of this. I was terrified of this man, it's sad to say, one day the only way I could see out was to kill myself. It's funny, because I do not like taking pills, but that did not stop me. I took a boat load of pills and waited to die. A knock came at my door. It was my Aunt. She just showed up out the blue. I'm talking to myself, "Why is she here I'm trying to die over here?" She had food and wanted her hair done. I was moving slow and slipping in and out. She got me moving, eating, drinking, and I did her hair. I realized after she left, God sent her to me. I said oh well I guess I have to find another way out. I took back the control and left. I told myself I'm not going to take anymore, he's going to have to kill me. I packed a bag, waited for my ride, I left everything I owned. I started over. You can do it, you have to stand up for yourself. I forgave him also.
I had an opportunity to experience depression for about six months. I say opportunity, because I heard people talk about it, could never relate. That thing is not joke. I am so very thankful it was only six months. To not want to get out of bed, go anywhere, be around people, just sad, just to be sad, not a wonderful feeling at all. I had experienced it so I could help people. So when I hear someone complain about a family member sleeping and despondent, I can say, "Yeah they're depressed, this is what you need to do."
Most of my clients hear these stories when they share, at the moment they think they are the only ones going through it. They hear my story and go wow she got out, she got through, she did it. And for those that know me, I'm silly, so yeah I share and be all animated, they feel the share, we may cry together, then we laugh and they can face another day. There is hope, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I use to wonder why I was hit with so many afflictions, so many pains, so many trials and tribulations, and when that person comes and lay that heavy load, and I let them see/hear that it's ok, you will survive, your past does not make you, or define you. It helps you be a witness and a testimony of how good God really is. How can you share, feel, or help someone if you do not know? It's second nature now, I quickly share. I just say "Ok God, what do I tell them?" So I hope that this helps one person, You can do it, what ever happened in your past, even if your past was yesterday, Pray about it, tell a friend, tell a family member, tell a therapist. I smile cause I am not my past, my past has created me, I am blessed to be a blessing and so can you.
Heavenly Father, Please heal whom ever took the time to read this, You know their affliction, pain, suffering, trials, and worries, take their burdens, and allow them to forgive others as well as themselves. Thank you, Amen
God is the creativeness of achievement that any person have within oneself but sometimes situations has to occur in which we can't understand at that time of occurrence that induce professionalism. Let the church say, 'AMEN'.
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